Beginner’s Guide to Health I stood in front of the bottles of supplements, looking at how much this ashwagandha supplement cost, the same amount my weekly grocery bills. So, so stupid. Some influencer is all about kale, the nectar of the gods, and another one about the supposed toxicity in the oxalate content in spinach.
It’s just noise. Deafening, costly
I know that if you’re sitting there thinking that your head is about to explode, you’re not alone. I have been in the same condition, frozen in the paralysis that is the result of the “paradox of choice,” clutching a bag of chia seeds that I didn’t know the first thing about how to eat. Here is the brutal truth: if you’re trying to get healthy, you don’t need a degree in biochemistry and a personal chef. All you need to do is stop listening to the noise.
We’re not going to discuss ways to “optimize” your biology or 4 hour gym routines that leave you tearful. We’re going to discuss sanity.
1. The Mindset: Stop Slashing Your Tires
Perfection is a trap. It is the enemy. I used to quit my entire diet because I ate one donut on a Tuesday morning. That is not discipline; that is madness. Since you have a flat tire, it’s like letting air out of the other three wheels, because you have already let air out of the tire at the road site.
If you are wanting the pizza, then you should eat the pizza. Enjoy the grease. And then move forward.
Reality of 80/20: “The goal of any decision-making process should be to make the right decisions 80% of the time. And then, of course, there’s that other 20%. .. it’s for birthday cake, it’s for tacos at 3:00 a.m
Add, Don’t Subtract
Psychological trickery is effective. Rather than dwelling on the things you’re not supposed to consume (no sugar, no fun), concentrate on packing in as much good as possible.
More water.
More protein.
The result is that the good stuff pushes the junk out.
2. Nutrition: Eat Stuff That Rots
“Nutrition” is a scary word. Let’s simplify it. You don’t need to track macros unless you enjoy being miserable. You just need to return to the source.
Drink Water (Seriously)
My skin used to look like grey paper. Why? Because I ran exclusively on espresso and spite. Most of us are walking around chronologically dehydrated.
- The Fix: Drink 2 to 3 liters. If your pee is dark yellow, you are failing. Fix it.
The Mascot Rule
Here is my golden rule for food: If it has a cartoon mascot on the box, don’t eat it.
Real food looks like it came out of the ground or off an animal. Ultra-processed food looks like a science experiment. Focus on the boring stuff. Chicken. Lentils. Apples. Rice. If it rots in three days, it’s good for you. If it stays fresh for three years, it’s probably plastic.
The Hand Method
Counting calories makes me neurotic. So I use my hand.
- Palm: Protein.
- Fist: Veggies (Two fists is better).
- Cupped Hand: Carbs.
- Thumb: Fats.
3. Movement: “Exercise” is a Dirty Word
For years, I treated the gym like a punishment chamber. It implied sweat, pain, and bad techno music. Let’s rebrand it. Stop thinking about “exercise.” Start thinking about “maintenance.”
Walk It Off Walking is the most underrated drug on the planet. It regulates blood sugar and burns off the cortisol dump from your boss’s passive-aggressive emails.
- The Goal: 30 minutes. Brisky. If you can sing, you’re walking too slow. If you can’t talk, you’re walking too fast.
Pick Your Poison I hate running. It hurts my knees and bores my brain. So I don’t run.
- Like hitting things? Box.
- Like silence? Yoga.
- Like suffering? Crossfit.
Just do something that gets your heart rate up. And lift heavy things occasionally. Groceries, rocks, iron. Muscle is your pension plan for old age.
4. Sleep: The Non-N
Eat as much broccoli as you want. But if you’re getting four hours of sleep every night, you’re going to crash. I figured that out the hard way when I spent last week doing a series of 2 a.m. doom scrolls. My head was full of wet cotton balls.
Sleeping is when the garbage trucks come out to clean out your brain.
The Protocol:
Cool Down: “Your room should be like a cave. Dark. Cold.”
“The Digital Sunset: This is the toughest part. Until you are asleep, put your cell phone an hour before bedtime. This blue light will fool your lizard brain into thinking that it is noon. Read a paper book. Do you remember these?”
5. Mental Grunt Work
Stress isn’t just “in your head.” It’s a physical toxin that inflames your arteries.
Breathe: When I feel the chest-tightening panic of a deadline, I do the 4-7-8 method. Inhale for 4. Hold for 7. Exhale for 8. It literally forces your nervous system to chill out.
Brain Dump: Put your concerns onto paper. Get them out of your head so that they are not rattling around in there while you are trying to sleep.
6. How to Start (Without Burning Out)
The worst thing that young players can do is try to change the world Monday morning. By the time Wednesday rolls around, they’re eating ice cream in the dark.
“Good Enough” Plan:
Week 1: Simply drink water. Nothing else.
Week 2: Take a 20-minute walk.
Week 3: Eat a vegetable at dinner that isn’t a potato.
Week 4: Go to bed at the same time. Every night. Including weekends.
“Motivation is fleeting. It’s a fair-weather friend. Habit is the tank that carries you through the mud.”
There will be days when you fail. Days when you opt for the couch over the walk. This will be okay. The aim is not to be a statute of perfection but to be less breakable than yesterday. Now comes the question of what you will do next.